Victory Road Inbox

[notvaljean]

Hi, this is Jean... [loud crackling in the background, the sound of sighing] ... and Blitz. We're busy right now and can't answer, so leave a message and we'll get back to you.

Comments

[schachmeister]

[No, definitely worst.]

Zappy, this is not funny. What happened?

[notvaljean]

I told you, a Garchomp bit it off! Now he only has one!

[Your sense of humor sucks, bro, because this is hilarious.]

[schachmeister]

[Armin's sense of humour is terminally set to none, it's true.]

Didn't you just say it was a Garbite?

[notvaljean]

[It's okay, Zappy will just keep his own TURNED UP TO THE MAX!!1!1!! in response.]

Garbite, Garchomp, whatever! Big Pokemon with lots of teeth! And now a delicious arm!

[In the background, the very familiar sound of furious crackling starts up. Zappy, you are being too loud and Blitz is trying to sleep. Shut it!]

[schachmeister]

[Armin would be able to recognise that grumpy crackling anywhere.]

Blitz?

[notvaljean]

[More crackling. Yes, OF COURSE it's Blitz, who else would it be?]

Be quiet, Little Ball, the men are talking.

[Did you just...? You little shit! The crackling crescendos, something crashes, Zappy makes some panicked, static screeching noises... and the video switches on. It's Blitz, looming large in the camera and eyeballing Armin. What?]

[schachmeister]

[The grouchiness on Blitz's face is probably just from being woken up and not something along the lines of 'my human was stupid and got eaten', but still, better to check.]

Blitz, how is Jean? Zappy was saying some things which I don't think are true, but I want to make certain.

[Should he sweeten the deal? Blitz does look very grouchy.]

... I'll buy you as many treats as you want when we get back to Fuchsia.

[notvaljean]

[Do you think his affections are so easily won, Small Yellow? Do you truly believe you can win over the mighty death ball so easily, with the promise of treats to come? Is the all-powerful Blitz such an easy creature to persuade?]

[Clearly yes, because after glaring for another moment or two, Blitz makes a pissy noise and nudges the communicator with his nose. After some significant fumbling and recruiting Spookycheeks for help, Blitz gets the camera turned around. There's Jean, flat on his back on a cot, asleep and snoring. One arm is dangling off the side of the bed, and the other one, while the hand is wrapped in a blood-splotched bandage, is resting on his chest. They are both present and accounted for.]

[There. See, Dumb Narrow is fine. You better make with the treats the next time he sees you, Blondie. Blitz is having a rough week and is going to need lots and lots of Pokepuffs to soothe the insult of all this nonsense.]

[schachmeister]

[That's... it is obvious Jean has been injured, but with the sort of injures and deaths they have seen, it's minor in comparison. It relaxes the last bit of worry out of Armin --Zappy wasn't a very dependable source of information, but with the suggestion out there, he just had to check it-- and he drops his head to rest against his arms for a moment.]

Thank you, Blitz.

[A little muffled. And yes, Blitz will be receiving his TLC when they get home -- Tender Loving Candy.]

[notvaljean]

[Zappy is a notoriously unreliable source of information. No one should ever believe anything that crackles out of his mouth.]

[Blitz grumbles and crackles some more, and whatever he's saying must be pretty obnoxious, because Spookycheeks chitters and scolds him. The noise makes Jean stir, and he cracks one eye open.]

Dafuq?

[The glare of his communicator makes him squint, and he reaches down, snagging the device and bringing it up to his face.]

Armin? Whaz happenin'?

[schachmeister]

[Armin lifts his head off his arms, looking both tired and apologetic.]

Jean. I'm sorry. I hadn't meant to wake you.

[notvaljean]

Why're you calling?

[Jean doesn't think Armin would wake him up for no reason, and he tilts the communicator so he can see him better. Over Jean's shoulder, Armin will get a view of Shiro, sound asleep in the next cot, with his face buried in Fat Ice Dog's belly.]

Everything okay over there?

[schachmeister]

It's fine. A little disorganised, but fine.

[A lot disorganised, really. Shadis would have these guys' nuts for the state of the camp here.]

I just wanted to know if all three of you were fine. If there have been any changes there.

[notvaljean]

[It's a little better on Mt. Mortar, but Shadis would still be pitching a fit over things.]

We're fine. Tired, but okay. [Jean gestures over his shoulder.] Found Shiro. He's okay too.

[schachmeister]

[It is almost as if Shadis has unreasonable standards and would pitch a fit regardlessly.

This is also probably the first time Armin has seen Shiro sleep when it was not haunter-induced. A rare site. Magical. Like a double-rainbow.]

I'm glad.

How's... is your hand okay? Zappy mentioned you got bit.

[Armin won't mention the rest of what Zappy said cause Jean will probably laugh at him for even believing the Rotom for a sec.]

[notvaljean]

[Fits pitched in the name of building character, he'd probably argue.]

Huh? Oh...

[Jean holds up his injured hand so Armin can see it, and grimaces at the blood stains on the bandage. Gonna have to get that replaced in the morning.]

I got bit by a Gible. Then the little fucker wouldn't go away, so I caught her. Hopefully Maul will be able to straighten her out.

[Of course, this is where Zappy chimes in.]

The little yellow one thought a Gabite ate your whole arm!

[schachmeister]

Zappy

[There goes his reputation.]

[notvaljean]

[From under the bed, Blitz crackles smugly.]

You thought... dammit, Zappy!

[Rotoms are the WORST.]

My arm is fine. I've been avoiding the big sharks.

[schachmeister]

He made it sound... believable.

[No, he didn't. Armin is just tired and his judgement is a little off. And he's always been bad at telling jokes anyway.]

[notvaljean]

[Not only is Blitz laughing now, but Zappy joins in.]

Shut up, you guys are assholes!

[Jean is, to his credit, not openly laughing, although he does look pretty amused.]

I'm sure Bertolt or Sasha would have called you if I'd lost my arm. But don't worry, I'm not going to be sticking it in any shark's mouths.

[A Survey Corps member without an arm... what nonsense!]

[schachmeister]

[Yeah, yeah, it wasn't his finest moment. It all seems to obvious in retrospect.]

I think that would be best, yes.

[A pause, then Armin just drops his head back to his arms.]

I'm an idiot.

[notvaljean]

You're not an idiot.

[Armin is a lot of things, but an idiot isn't one of them.]

You're tired, that's all. Zappy would have never gotten that past you if you were on top of your game.

[schachmeister]

Thank you, but I should've known better than to believe him no matter how tired.

[a bit muffled until he lifts his head again.]

Are Bertolt and Sasha okay?

[He's a bit worried about Sasha. She knows more about forests and mountains than any of them, but she hasn't been here as long as the rest of them and her Pokemon aren't as well trained yet.]

[notvaljean]

Yeah. Bert and I have been teaming up when we go up into the mountain; been gathering lots of scared Pokemon that way. Sasha has been sticking closer to camp.

[Which is probably driving her crazy, since she's a natural in the woods, but she just doesn't have the Pokemon to go too deep.]

They're fine. No Gible bites. Yet.

[schachmeister]

I don't think that is something to joke about.

[But, you know, Armin doesn't have much of a sense of humour. Especially not about any of them getting hurt.]

Did anything change between the legendaries?