Victory Road Inbox

[notvaljean]

Hi, this is Jean... [loud crackling in the background, the sound of sighing] ... and Blitz. We're busy right now and can't answer, so leave a message and we'll get back to you.

Comments

[schachmeister]

Mhmm, Mister Pines said they had Titans in his world as well, but by his time they were just myths.

[notvaljean]

Really?

[Now there's an interesting factoid.]

So in his world, humanity defeated the Titans and reclaimed their world.

[Which means, at least in theory, that it's possible to defeat them, once and for all.]

Too bad the Commander isn't here; I bet he'd love to talk to Mr. Pines.

[And everyone else. The Commander would probably make a real nuisance of himself, to be honest.]

[schachmeister]

Not... quite. According to the myths he told me, the Titans were defeated by Gods.

[A soft, thoughtful noise.]

Of course, there is still the chance of something valuable in his stories. There is often a seed of truth in many myths. I'm just not sure what it is and if it is one we could use. And if we do find some plan we might be able to use, there is still the trouble of bringing it home with us.

[Someone is overthinking things again.]

[notvaljean]

[Which inadvertently brings up something that's been haunting Jean more and more lately...]

Armin... do you want to go home?

[schachmeister]

[He's quiet for a few moments then--]

We have to go back.

[He damn well knows that is not the same thing.]

[notvaljean]

Yeah, but do you want to?

[You're not getting away with dodging the question, buddy.]

[schachmeister]

[You can't catch him, he's gonna fucking slalom.]

I... don't think what we want necessarily has a lot to do with what we have to.

[notvaljean]

That's a bullshit answer and you know it.

[Fucking slalom all you want, Jean knows exactly what you're doing.]

Want and need are two different things and you're smart enough to know that. I know what we need to do, and I'm not asking you about that. I'm asking if, given the choice, you'd want to go home.

Because I wouldn't.

[schachmeister]

[Armin just doesn't want to admit it, okay? It makes him feel like he is running away.]

I don't think anyone sensible would want to go back to a place like that.

[notvaljean]

Of course not.

[There, that's as much of an admittance as Jean thinks he's going to get, and he's satisfied with it. And with it, all the fight goes out of him, and he sounds deeply sad when he speaks again.]

I just keep thinking about him, you know? And how much he'd love it here. How... how fucking happy he'd be in a place like this.

[schachmeister]

[Armin doesn't have to ask who Jean is talking about. That is clear enough.]

He would've been. He was always good with animals.

[Marco had had a way with the horses only rivaled by Krista. It must have been from growing up on a farm.]

[notvaljean]

[Yeah, Jean is not being subtle here at all.]

He was. And he'd... he'd probably end up with more than anyone else. And they'd all be really sweet and good natured and play well with the other ones.

[Unlike certain spherical assholes who shall remain nameless.]

[schachmeister]

[Privately Armin thinks that Jean, in his grief, is smoothing over some of Marco's flaws, but there is no need to bring that up. He hasn't heard Jean talk about him before and he wonders if he has at all, or whether Jean has bottled up all his grief until now.

He wonders if he ought to bring up the possibility to Marco arriving in this world. Death was not a deterrent to that. But no, Jean must have realised that as well. He wouldn't be telling him anything new. And Armin doesn't really want to make Jean focus on a possibility beyond their control that might never come to be.

It does leave Armin lacking for anything good to say. But then again, could anyone really say anything to Jean that would take away his grief? Nothing anyone had said to Armin after his grandfather's death had made it hurt less. Only time could do that. Supposedly.]

...I miss him too.

[notvaljean]

[Jean is aware that he's focusing only on the good and ignoring some of Marco's more ignoble qualities, but he doesn't care. He figures, in a distant way that hasn't involved too much deeper thinking, that once someone is dead, they deserve to be remembered in the best possible light.]

[He's also aware that Marco could end up here, and the arrival of more and more people from home just hurts all the worse. He's glad to see his friends (except Eren), he really is, but every time he sees a new video, and it's someone from home but not Marco, it's like a knife in his chest. This place keeps bringing them, but it keeps not bringing the one person who truly deserves a second chance.]

I miss him so much...

[Jean's voice cracks a little, and he covers it by coughing.]

I just... forget it. Never mind. I'm going to go train Blitz some more.

[Or just go out into the woods to be alone with his thoughts.]

[schachmeister]

Jean...

[Offering comfort doesn't come natural to Armin, not like it comes natural to people like Reiner or, well, Marco. It doesn't help he and Jean have only been becoming better friends quite recently. But then, perhaps some time alone is what Jean wants. That is what Armin prefers himself when he can't keep his emotions in check.]

All right. I'll see you back at camp.